Updating More Regularly, and Staying Passionate
*Disclaimer : All opinions of this experience are my own and not representative of the U.S. Government or The Fulbright Program.
Hi all,
I know I haven’t updated this blog in a few months. I wrote consistently until week 9 of my grant without updating and now we are at the halfway point of my time in France. It’s been an interesting ride, as I was acclimating to so many new things with a great deal of uncertainty. I won’t lie to you, being in Paris those first few weeks was a difficult adjustment, as I was sick and trying to navigate the holiday season without my friends and family. It was difficult, as I shut myself up in my apartment with handkerchiefs and TheraFlu, and once I recovered, I felt great fear of venturing back out into the city. I asked myself constantly, “What am I even doing here?” “Will I accomplish anything I intended to do?” The deep rooted imposter syndrome was something I had to set aside as I settled into my work routine at the museum. I never have had to face research independently this way, but I was thankful for the kindness and support of my advisor Serge Reubi, and the librarians at the Bibliotheque Centrale.
As I've grown more comfortable with my surroundings and research process, I've found a rhythm that works for me. Through this experience, I'm learning that growth often comes from embracing the uncomfortable moments and pushing through initial self-doubt. Being young on this kind of grant is a strange experience, because you are both qualified and unqualified at the same time to participate in various events. I am currently on a break, staying in California with my husband and taking this time to update my website, my resume, and digest what I’ve done so far. I’ve made many wonderful friends on this grant, and so many within our Fulbright Cohort. I’m immensely proud to be part of this group of astounding individuals who are all equally passionate and accomplished at various career stages.
I will be adding my posts from up to Week 9, and sort of backlog through some of my sojourns around Paris in the new year and what I’ve been thinking about as my research in the museum has progressed. Before I flew back to California, we had our MidYear Meeting at Fulbright, and we were hosted by the U.S. Embassy at the Hotel Talleyrand. If you didn’t know, the Hotel Talleyrand is an important spot for Franco-American relations. It was built in the 18th Century and hosted various diplomats and aristocrats from Europe, but after World War II became host to the negotiations of the Marshall Plan, which helped the economic recovery of Europe after all the damage the war had caused. One of my great-great uncles, Senator Arthur H. Vandenberg of Michigan (R, 1928-1951), was a lead legislative member on the Marshall Plan, along with Secretary George Marshall himself. I was very surprised to see photographs of the American and European negotiations from 1947 in the grand dining room where we were being served coffee. My fellow Fulbrighters were shocked I’d never mentioned it, but I had never been anywhere Senator Vandenberg might have sat or contributed. He was also a co-founder of the UN and NATO, but I had never ventured to either headquarters to experience these spaces and important global organizations he helped build. The only place I’d ever been was Hyde Park, where he would visit with his dear friend Eleanor Roosevelt. It was truly special!
I was also thankful to hear my colleagues share their experiences on their Fulbrights, and feel reassured that a lot of us are dealing with similar things, even though we pursue various fields of study. We also hosted various talented speakers from organizations in Paris and the U.S. Two of which that were special to me were Rudy Bazenet of the Nous Foundation, and Kevi Donat of Le Paris Noir. Both men spoke of two important topics of French heritage. Rudy’s organization, the Nous Foundation, talks about maintaining and uplifting Francophone culture in the U.S. As someone who comes from a New England Acadian family line from my grandmother (you can actually trace our Acadian and Quebecquois family to the Filles du Roi, and we have over 10,000 living relatives in Quebec today!) this was of great interest. The Nous Foundation runs various programming and creative projects about American Francophone culture from their headquarters in New Orleans! And Kevi, he runs a podcast and is a tour guide for Black History in Paris! We learned a lot about many African American artists who came to France, and many French intellectuals who came to the U.S. I even learned more about Josephine Baker! I had no idea she was alive and walked with Dr. King in the March on Washington! Due to the nature of discussing topics of race in France, Kevi’s work is really important as he highlights the history some institutions are hesitant to acknowledge. If you’re interested in more of their work please visit: leparisnoir.com and https://www.nous-foundation.org/ . Finally, we were able to listen to my talented colleagues Johnathan Bass, Dayton Hare, and Natalie Darst Xia perform!
My colleagues Natalie and Johnathan performing in the Hotel Talleyrand, along with Fulbright alum Samuel Gaskin.
Thank you for your patience, kindness, understanding and support during this wild time for me. With the current state of the nation, with so much uncertainty, it is a difficult time for us all. All I can say is that I encourage you to keep staying passionate. Keep reading, keep writing, keep being curious, and stay open minded about the wider world. Much love.
Emma